I am trying to open a box full of nail polishes
that have been sealed shut by too much packing tape.
The polishes are from New York, inspired by Georgia O’Keefe and Korean soap operas.
Aspirational beauty, in other words.
I am trying to open the box by stabbing it with kitchen shears in a haphazard way
until my judgment gets the better of me.
Imagine your problems, I tell myself.
Now imagine your problems plus a stab wound.
How to be Popular
When asked what my book is about I will say “love” or “relationships”
or I will say it’s about a dystopian future where everyone has computer chips implanted in their heads.
I will say it’s like the Hunger Games, but better. I will describe it as The Tale of Genji, but set in a futuristic Starbucks.
I will say it was ghostwritten by Kim Kardashian. My author photo is a gauzy selfie stolen from a girl with more Instagram followers than me.
My problem is that I pander.
So, for instance, when I say the app revolution is over what I mean to say is that I don’t want to hear about your app.
And when I say the data revolution has arrived, what I mean is that I have found a mass delusion that suits me.
Dominica Phetteplace tutors math and codes in Python. Her work has appeared in Analog, Asimov's and The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. She is a MacDowell Fellow and a guest editor for the Pushcart Prize Anthology.